The following were written during a symposium I was forced to attend but in which I had no interest whatsoever. The following is of low quality.
A Haiku for Aroldis Chapman
Glaring through my face
Fanning guys with fireballs
Scares me very much
A Haiku for Jonathan Schoop
High hopes for this kid
Please be good at second, please?
Please please please please please?
A Haiku for Kris Medlen
Hot stuff last year, pal!
I wonder if you'll repeat?
Rooting for you, bud!
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
3.18.2013
From The Series "Through A Symposium, Inattentive": Baseball Limericks
The following were written during a symposium I was forced to attend but in which I had no interest whatsoever. The following is of low quality.
A Limerick for Jake Arrieta
There was once a pitcher named Jake
Who wouldn't give Os fans a break.
One day he's lights-out,
The next it's a rout!
When hitters get on him, they rake!
A Limerick for Roberto Alomar
There once was a 2B named Robby,
Disliked by the umpires' lobby.
He played well all the same,
Got his piece of sports Fame.
When I look at BRob I get sobby.
A Limerick for Bobby Bonilla
There once was a guy named Bonilla.
Back in 2001, he said "See ya!"
While he split with the Mets,
He still cashes their checks--
What a deal! You'd have to agree, huh?
A Limerick for Jake Arrieta
There was once a pitcher named Jake
Who wouldn't give Os fans a break.
One day he's lights-out,
The next it's a rout!
When hitters get on him, they rake!
A Limerick for Roberto Alomar
There once was a 2B named Robby,
Disliked by the umpires' lobby.
He played well all the same,
Got his piece of sports Fame.
When I look at BRob I get sobby.
A Limerick for Bobby Bonilla
There once was a guy named Bonilla.
Back in 2001, he said "See ya!"
While he split with the Mets,
He still cashes their checks--
What a deal! You'd have to agree, huh?
2.08.2013
From: Happy hour invitations I once sent; redacted
Co-conspirators in frivolity—
I feel it only appropriate to remind you of two things:
1)
It's Thursday, so come to Happy Hour at [-] on [-] at
5:00PM. I actually probably won't be there, but I know my solemn duty to
remind everyone.
2) THE RAVENS WON THE
SUPERBOWL. Please keep this in mind as you heed the cautionary tale of one who
ignores happy hour invitations, only to be accosted by a more relaxed fellow (it's obviously a ripoff of a great man's great poem):
Once upon a Thursday boring, as I sat up, nearly snoring
Over many a teeming legal treatise I was doomed to scour—
While I studied, hardly reading, suddenly there came a pleading,
As if someone gently leading, leading me to times less dour.
‘’Tis frivolity,’ I grumbled, ‘leading me to times less dour –
I won’t go to Happy Hour.’
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