From: Happy hour invitations I once sent; redacted

Dearest Collaborators in Thrills of the Legal Variety--

It's Thursday again!

Some of you are doubtless thinking, "What!? I'm only now emerging from a strange, snowy, alcoholic haze that seemed to persist for an entire weekend! I've only just now woken up from a bizarre dream about party cabins, snow bunnies, and wanton bed sharing!" You are doubtless thinking that, unless you are thinking, "But I'm still recovering from the trauma of that Monopoly game and the skiing polar bear's female objectifying!"

If the above sounds like you, you just might be suffering from postskiweekenditis, a degenerative condition that affects many [-] Law students this time of year. Other symptoms include:

-Vomiting and hangover symptoms
-Intense regret of life choices
-Shame
-Burgeoning desire to abandon all ambitious endeavors
-Increased time spent browsing imgur for pictures of hedgehogs, owls, kittens, and puppies
-Bouts of spontaneous weeping and/or combustion
-Dissociative fugue
-Involuntary homicidal designs on an anthropomorphized representation of the Advanced Practice program

If these symptoms seem familiar to you, it is important not to panic. Postskiweekenditis is an easily treatable condition. It is, however, important to seek treatment post haste. Please consider the following treatment guidelines:

Step One: DON'T PANIC
Step Two: Survive until 5:00PM Eastern Time
Step Three: Proceed to [-] on [-] St.*
Step Four: Consume happy hour alcohol**

*Seasons is the locally approved distributor of alcohol for the medicinal management of postskiweekenditis. Other venues are not recommended.
**Note that, for reasons heretofore unexplained, alcohol purchased during a happy hour boasts improved ameliorative properties for the purposes of postskiweekenditis treatment. It is therefore important not to forgo happy hour alcohol in favor of other popular alternatives (e.g., late night Bud Light at [-], SoCo shots at [-], etc.)

Please note that absences from class, work, externships, internships, social functions, weddings, funerals, court dates, dates, galas, masquerade balls, state-mandated prison time, and anything else ARE JUSTIFIED to pursue essential medical treatment at [-]. Make the responsible choice!

(This message brought to you by the Designated Reformed Urban Nation of Knightly Students (DRUNKS))

PS: Look outside. It's snowing and pretty.