The following were written during a symposium I was forced to attend but in which I had no interest whatsoever. The following is of low quality.
It can't be said that T-- doesn't contribute meaningfully to society; indeed, his exploration of the depths of the Friend Zone rivals the travails of noted sojourners in its intrepidity, and even surpasses them in sheer sexual frustration.
I would never suggest that A-- lacks the intellect necessary to debate civil polemics; on the contrary, her capacity to insulate her arguments from most relevant policy and factual considerations suggest great mental fortitude!
To say M-- possesses a gift for the lascivious would do him a great injustice; his descent into the profane is so complete and profound that I fear the proverbial gutter cleaner that would withdraw him.
To suggest that T-- is a total asshole injures the real caliber of his distastefulness; any victim of his infamous "parting shots" knows his boundless gift for abrasion.
While C--'s cuteness is immune to all doubt, it is equally certain that this virtue--i.e., her cuteness--this virtue serves no purpose more than to enable her vice.