3.19.2013

From The Series "Through A Symposium, Inattentive": The Drunkest Scholar At The Symposium

The following were written during a symposium I was forced to attend but in which I had no interest whatsoever. The following is of low quality.

In particular, these refer to an esteemed scholar who offered a voice of dissent to the conference's general tune. While I largely agreed with his position, his affect and appearance made him seem something less than sober. He also bore a strong resemblance to the Most Interesting Man in the World, of Dos Equis advertising fame.

I drew pictures, too, but I will spare you those.


"I don't always talk about environmental renewal litigation, but when I do, I make sure to tell a room full of the people who support it that it's not economically realistic."

"I don't always show up to symposia drunk, but when I do, I don't shower first."

"I don't always show up to symposia drunk, but when I do, I sext under the table."

"I don't always show up to symposia clothed, but when I do, my clothes are badly stained."

"I don't always show up to symposia drunk, but when I do, I accuse environmental advocates of creating the largest obstacles to their own projects."

"I don't always show up to symposia drunk, but when I do,  I make fun of my colleagues' names."

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