The Commandments of Fandom

“The Gods of Baseball delivered unto me two tablets of stone written with the bat of Ruth; and on them was written according to all the words, which the Gods of Baseball spake with you on the mound out of the midst of the fire in the day of the assembly.”

That’s right, folks! The spirits of the National Pastime have passed down to me the Commandments of Fandom, that I mayest teach them. Lo:

(1) Baseball is the Game thy Pastime; thou shalt have no other games before Baseball

(2) Thou shalt love Baseball above all teams

(3) Thou shalt honor Baseball’s history and traditions

(4) Thou shalt sustain Baseball’s welfare and perpetuity

(5) Thou shalt take a team, and, once taken, this team shall remain thine forever

(6) Thou shalt loathe the Yankees of the present; thou mayest acknowledge Yankees past

(7) Thou shalt remember thy baseball park, to attend when possible

(8) Thou shalt pursue quantifiable truth and intellectual honesty in thy fandom

(9) Thou shalt revel in The Pastime’s drama and elegance

(10) Remember: Thou shalt loathe the Yankees